The neverending heartbreak...
After 4.5 years of being in a relationship, we finally called it quits... my world fell apart... imagine building your life with someone for so long and suddenly being left alone... the hardest part? Your partner was able to move on within 5 days of your break up...
I was in a lesbian relationship... and yes, both our families know about it... we are accepted both ways and did not have any problems with any of our families... so why did it fall apart?
I admit I was at fault... I know that my partner was micro-cheating with her new girl... for 6 months, I let her do it... because I became busy and did not have enough time to spend with her. My work took its toll on me... I took her for granted... I became over confident with all the promises of love and faithfulness... but was it enough to cheat?
She had admitted that it was her fault... she had enjoyed all the attention which she cannot get from me... She enjoyed the companionship... she may be sleeping beside me yet her mind was already straying 5 floors from mine... she wakes up early morning to send her morning greetings to her, when she cannot even greet me...
This lady is at fault too... how can you allow yourself to have sex with someone who is crying because of a different woman? Yes, I called you a "whore", a "slut"... that is how I define you... I even said that you are worst than a prostitute... a prostitute gets paid after sex.. but you shower my partner with material things after having sex... I keep on saying, how can you do this? You are a woman yourself and you should know how I would feel... Yes, we did have our hiccups and challenges.. but if you did not have the vilest intention within you, you will never allow anyone to treat you as an option... as a rebound...
Now, we have finally ended it... when all the anger had left my body, all the pain came in... now I am the one who is depressed and crying... while I see both of you happy and smiling... life is not even fair... You have lied to me a thousand times... denied everything... said you were willing to try it again... but you did not have any intentions of doing it...
Now I can't keep on wondering.. how can someone who swore that they will love you til their last breathe can hurt you so bad?
I should have accepted you when you first said that you were sorry... but I was hurting so much... every time I find it in me that I am ready to accept you once again, you keep on giving me reasons to hate you...
I still am depressed and hurting... I know I will finally move on... but in order for me to do so, I have to accept the truth... that I am severely depressed and on the verge of dying... with the only thing that is holding me from doing it is my love for my family...
Someday I will be okay.. but for now, let me wallow in peace and suffer alone...
I was in a lesbian relationship... and yes, both our families know about it... we are accepted both ways and did not have any problems with any of our families... so why did it fall apart?
I admit I was at fault... I know that my partner was micro-cheating with her new girl... for 6 months, I let her do it... because I became busy and did not have enough time to spend with her. My work took its toll on me... I took her for granted... I became over confident with all the promises of love and faithfulness... but was it enough to cheat?
She had admitted that it was her fault... she had enjoyed all the attention which she cannot get from me... She enjoyed the companionship... she may be sleeping beside me yet her mind was already straying 5 floors from mine... she wakes up early morning to send her morning greetings to her, when she cannot even greet me...
This lady is at fault too... how can you allow yourself to have sex with someone who is crying because of a different woman? Yes, I called you a "whore", a "slut"... that is how I define you... I even said that you are worst than a prostitute... a prostitute gets paid after sex.. but you shower my partner with material things after having sex... I keep on saying, how can you do this? You are a woman yourself and you should know how I would feel... Yes, we did have our hiccups and challenges.. but if you did not have the vilest intention within you, you will never allow anyone to treat you as an option... as a rebound...
Now, we have finally ended it... when all the anger had left my body, all the pain came in... now I am the one who is depressed and crying... while I see both of you happy and smiling... life is not even fair... You have lied to me a thousand times... denied everything... said you were willing to try it again... but you did not have any intentions of doing it...
Now I can't keep on wondering.. how can someone who swore that they will love you til their last breathe can hurt you so bad?
I should have accepted you when you first said that you were sorry... but I was hurting so much... every time I find it in me that I am ready to accept you once again, you keep on giving me reasons to hate you...
I still am depressed and hurting... I know I will finally move on... but in order for me to do so, I have to accept the truth... that I am severely depressed and on the verge of dying... with the only thing that is holding me from doing it is my love for my family...
Someday I will be okay.. but for now, let me wallow in peace and suffer alone...
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