From the outside... looking in

You will always be that person that no matter how much you have hurt me, I will always be ready to accept you with both arms if ever you decide to come back to me..

Yes, I am still brave... because I still am choosing to live... I know that there are a lot more out there who has bigger problems than what I currently have... Work... Health... Relationship... I can handle it one at a time.. even two at time at most... but with all three, I became hopeless....  Someday, I will be okay.. but for now, let me wallow in pain... 

I love sleeping nowadays... cause it is the only time when my body becomes numb and succumb to its weakness...

I want to be back to what I once were... Happy... smiling... bright... cheerful... laughing... You were once my reason to smile... and now you are also the reason why I am like this... Someday I will be okay.. I don't know when... but someday... I will be okay....

After 4.5 years of being in a relationship, we finally called it quits... my world fell apart... imagine building your life with someone for so long and suddenly being left alone... the hardest part? Your partner was able to move on within 5 days of your break up... I was in a lesbian relationship... and yes, both our families know about it... we are accepted both ways and did not have any problems with any of our families... so why did it fall apart? I admit I was at fault... I know that my partner was micro-cheating with her new girl... for 6 months, I let her do it... because I became busy and did not have enough time to spend with her. My work took its toll on me... I took her for granted... I became over confident with all the promises of love and faithfulness... but was it enough to cheat? She had admitted that it was her fault... she had enjoyed all the attention which she cannot get from me... She enjoyed the companionship... she may be sleeping beside me yet her mind was...